The Looming Deployment

A deployment looms.

An upcoming deployment is like a cold that you feel in the back of your throat.  That little tickle that prompts an uptick in your vitamin C intake but really – there’s little else you can do to stop it. 

I’m no stranger to deployment, by the way.  This will mark my fifth and (hopefully) last deployment.  And of course when I say ‘my’ I mean that my husband will deploy and I will assume my Mr. Mom role for somewhere around six months. But it’s my deployment too.

If you are nodding your head, then you understand my predicament.  You understand that the before part of the deployment is almost worse than the during part. You get that I just want him to go so that we can start the countdown clock. Just go so you can come home.  Just go so I can get into my routine, eat breakfast for dinner, do less laundry, and schedule more visitors.  Just go so my girls can dip their chubby little fingers in the “kiss jar” every day knowing that each piece of Hersey’s chocolate is one kiss closer to daddy’s homecoming.  But my attitude towards this deployment has shifted.  Here’s why.

I recently attended an event put on by Operation Homefront.  The evening included dinner, drinks, a swag bag packed with goodies, and a talk by Michelle Cuthrell, the author of Behind the Blue-Star Banner.  Cuthrell is also a motivational speaker – a career that she stumbled upon during her husband’s deployment.  She started out as a small-town reporter writing a monthly column for the local newspaper. The job eventually earned her a book deal and now, a gig doing motivational speeches for fellow military spouses. 

After her emotional and hilarious (she quipped about a tee shirt that read, “sexually deprived for your freedom) talk, the wheels began to turn.

You see she and I had experienced parallel deployments:  we both gave birth while our husbands were away, endured several extensions, and we both assumed a leadership role among the wives.   But while she turned hers into a book deal, I didn’t have quite the same outcome.  And here I was – facing yet another deployment. 

Cuthrell’s speech touched on all ‘super powers’ that military wives possess:  Be a victor, not a victim; Laugh; Find opportunity in the midst of obstacles.  At one point, Cuthrell and a group of wives came up with 300 positive aspects of their husband’s deployment extension.  300!  I felt my shoulders begin to sag.  I knew that the dread I was feeling was written all over my face.  The dismay was obvious and I needed to change. 

“You don’t marry a Soldier or Marine,” said Cuthrell, “unless there’s a little fighter in you.”

And she’s right.  Thanks to Operation Homefront’s fab night out, I gave myself a little kick in the pants.  It’s time to face this deployment with my cape billowing behind me … thanks to Cuthrell, I’m going in with less dread and more goals. Less trepidation. More purpose and ambition.  I may not write a book but I’ll come out on the other end with something … maybe I’ll start with a magazine article!  Ya never know – as a Marine wife – there just might be another deployment after this one. 

Molly Blake is the web editor and newsletter guru for Blue Star Families, and is a freelance writer.  She absolutely loved Ms. Cuthrell's shoes! 

 Operation Homefront (OH) provides emergency financial and other assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors. Through generous, widespread public support and a collaborative team of exceptional staff and volunteers, we aspire to become the provider of choice for emergency financial and other assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors. Where there is a need we do not provide, we will partner with others for the benefit of our military families.